My Own Prison
by Cougar3546
Summary: A little angst type fic of Dinobot...R&R!


My Own Prison ****

My Own Prison

__

A little angst type fic of Dinobot…(I started crying just writing this!)

__

I don't own Beast Wars, or Creed, but I do own my idea of a Predicon colony. There, my disclaimer, now read!!! 

A Creed song inspired the title for this song! Thankies Creed! :)

(The night before Code of Hero… )

The sun set over the mountains near the valley. It was all quiet in the evening.

Too quiet.

He didn't like it at all. It bothered him that it was peaceful in this war.

_We should attack the Predicons!, _he thought. _Then again, what should we do? Or even deeper yet, should I even be attacking them?_

He stared out the window of his quarters. The moonlight shined into the room, dimly lighting it. Dinobot leaned against the far wall, staring out the window. He slid down it until he sat on the floor, his back still leaned against it.

_I cannot determine my fate of which alliance I should be on, but I merely wish to foresee that it goes well for me. I do not wish to accept fate for the worse, but if I am to die, I wish to die an honorable death. One suited for me._

He then looked out the window as a cloud covered the moon.

_Or, does His plans not work out with mine? Does Primus, or God want me do die a glorious death and be set free of pain? …Or is the Pit coming at me, trying to weave the bands of hate and fire around me?_

He then curled up putting his head on his knees.

_Primus, I can feel the fires of the Pit closing in on me…I need to escape this! I need to know what my fate is! I need to know if I am to be set free of hate and pain, or do I have to live it for all eternity?!_

I know that I am destined to die. It is just a question of when, how, and…why?

Three birds flew over the clouds, and Dinobot could just barely make out them as the circled the sky, like vultures waiting for an injured or sick animal to die.

_I wish that I, a warrior, could just be free of this slagging war once in a while. I love the battle field, but yet, I wish to actually be able to rest in between them._

He then looked away from the window, at the bed he never slept on. He imagined a life on Cybertron, the Maximal's planet.

_What is Cybertron really like? Could it be like the Predicon colonys I grew up in? Could it be better? Perhaps it would be good if a rescue team came for us, but, I would be killed nonetheless, and my question would not be answered._

He then closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall, facing the window once again.

_Do I even remember what it was like at a Predicon colony? It was so long ago since I had to leave there for this life. Since I left a comfortable childhood early and came into a this world of the battle I love so much._

He then looked down at the floor and stretched his legs out from being in that curled up position.

_Would I ever see the colony again? Would I ever see my friends and comrades I left behind? This may be unanswered for a long time, or soon. Either way, I will know._

He then looked at his sword, lying on the floor like it was just dropped there. He then leaned over and picked it up. The clouds moved away from the moon, and the moonlight shined on the blade. The gleam shined on the wall, and on him. He ran his fingers along it. He cut them open on purpose. The blood dripped off it, and onto the sword.

_My own mech fluid, my blood. It drips on the sword I have used to kill so many innocent lives. All who wished not to be in this wrought filled war were murdered, and at who's hands?! Mine! I was the one to kill them! I was the one who aided Megatron in destroying families, destroying lives, and murdering souls for this! Maybe my death has little meaning compared to the magnitude of the ones I have hurt…The Predicons did go too far! They have destroyed many, like I have._

Yet, I have spared some, unlike them. I have had little compassion, even though I wish not to admit it to anyone. Does it show to anyone that I have that?

The Vermin knows. He knows that I can spare lives, like I did his.

His thoughts then went to that night, on top of the mountain, where he gave back to Megatron the Golden Disk. He had Rattrap pinned to the ground, his sword at his neck, ready to plunge it into him, ending the vermin's life. He hears the words that stopped him. "I always knew you was a stinking Pred."

__

The vermin was wrong there. Yet I have betrayed them a lot, I still am a Maximal, but, will I be judged that way, or always be known as a Predicon traitor for all eternity?

He stared out the window again as he let his arms fall to his sides.

_Is it forever written in the stars that I must be Predicon regardless of allegiance? Is it true that I can rewrite the stars with my actions? If so, how great an action would it have to be to do so? Would it have to be so great that fate leads me there to do this deed?_

He sighed as the clouds covered the moon again.

_Would I have to pay the ultimate sacrifice to do this? Would it be worth it?_

The moon returned, and Dinobot smiled as the light filled the dim room once again.

_It would be worth it, because I would change my life and its value down the right path forever._

But, what if this demise isn't worthy for me, or if it gives me an much worse reputation than what I have been plauged with?

I highly doubt that.

He then got up and walked over to the unused bed, and sat down. He then laid down on his side, and closed his eyes.

_Primus, if I should die tomorrow, watch over the others, and help my soul find peace at last, for all eternity…_

(Two days after Code of Hero…)

Rattrap investigated Dinobot's quarters. He was looking for anything that he left behind for them to use or look at.

"Man, dis base is just plain ol' lonely without Chopperface tah fight with!" he said to himself. "Then again, he was kinda like a friend tah me. I guess he was the closest friend I eva' had."

He then noticed something on the floor. It looked like a disk. He picked it up and brushed off the front. It read, "To anyone who finds this, play it."

"Well, I guess he did leave somethin'," Rattrap said as he turned on Dinobot's computer. He put the disk in and it began to run. There were two things on it, a sound file, and a document. Rattrap opened the document first. 

It read:

To anyone who finds this:

If you are reading this, it means that I have died. I only can hope that I have died an honorable death, and not one worthless of a soldier.

Maximals, I am sorry of all the actions that I have done to you, your friends, or anyone else close to you. I have just yet realized what I have done was wrong, and unhonorable. I only wish I could apologize to you directly. Yet, I know that you all will accept my apology regardless of how I apologize.

Primal: It seems that I have not really obeyed your orders, and disregarded you at some points. However, I respected that you were my leader, and regret not telling you that.

Cheetor: I know I have treated you like a child before, and I shouldn't have. I should have treated you with the same dignity and respect the others should receive. Those times I have tried to leave you behind was just Predicon instinct. I never learned how to disregard them.

Rattrap: Even though we fought all the time, I still respected you as a comrade, and a good friend. Too bad I never could admit it to you personally, vermin.

Rhinox: I thank you for those times when you helped me. I should have repayed you for the time you save Rattrap, Cheetor and I from being blind forever.

Silverbolt: We both share the same honor, and I should have looked at that rather than ignoring you for that.

Thank you Maximals, for showing me what it means to be on the right side. My gratitude is eternal. Thank you. (Play the sound file on this, and the song will describe how I felt about my life, and how I survived this far.)

Dinobot

When Rattrap finished the letter, his eyes were full of tears. He wiped them away with the back of his hand.

"Slaggit," he said. "Thanks Chopperface…"

He then opened the sound file, and this song began to play…

MY OWN PRISON: BY CREED

A court is in session, a verdict is in  
No appeal on the docket today  
Just my own sin  
The walls are cold and pale  
The cage made of steel  
Screams fill the room  
Alone I drop and kneel  
Silence now the sound  
My breath the only motion around  
Demons cluttering around  
My face showing no emotion  
Shackled by my sentence  
Expecting no return  
Here there is no penance  
My skin begins to burn  
So I held my head up high  
Hiding hate that burns inside  
Which only fuels their selfish pride  
We're all held captive  
Out from the sun  
A sun that shines on only some  
We the meek are all in one  
I hear a thunder in the distance  
See a vision of a cross  
I feel the pain that was given  
On that sad day of loss  
A lion roars in the darkness  
Only he holds the key  
A light to free me from my burden  
And grant me life eternally  
Should have been dead  
On a Sunday morning  
Banging my head  
No time for mourning  
Ain't got no time  
So I held my head up high  
Hiding hate that burns inside  
Which only fuels their selfish pride  
We're all held captive  
Out from the sun  
A sun that shines on only some  
We the meek are all in one  
I cry out to God  
Seeking only his decision  
Gabriel stands and confirms  
I've created my own prison…


End file.
